Preposterous

Duke and Bisbee Kid were sitting in the Circle K parking lot. Duke was eating a candy bar.

Duke: I had a diabetic shock coming on so I hadda get a candy bar. Now I need a shot of whiskey.
Roger: Sorry, but I can’t help you there.
Duke: Used to be that everyone who came to Bisbee had whiskey. The Circle K is really busy.
Roger: Yeah, there is a motorcycle event in Tombstone.
Duke: Oh, yeah. I used to go when I had a bike.
Roger: [Looking at Duke’s buddy, Bisbee Kid] How about you, did you ride?
Duke: [Answering for Bisbee Kid] Nah, he can’t drive anything unless it is an automatic.
Bisbee Kid: [Nods his head.]
Duke: We gotta go find some whiskey.
Roger: Good luck.

A Quarter

Yesterday, I went down to the local coffee shop. When I walked in the door, I realized that I was a quarter short. But most times I tip a buck even if I only spend 5 dollars. I figure that the barista can pay my shortage.

Well, wouldn’t you know it, the barista is a rookie. He rings it up and tells me I am short a quarter. I suggested that he take 25 cents out of the tip jar.

He looks at me as if to say, “You’re kidding me, right?” Then Ryan shows up. The rookie explains the circumstances to him. Ryan grasps the situation immediately, reaches into the tip jar, pulls out a quarter, and without a word gives the rookie a lesson.

Next time I will make sure that I have enough change.

North Dakota (Re)Visited

North Dakota (Re)Visited:

Location:
North Dakota is at the center of North America. To get to the geographical center of North America go to Rugby, North Dakota. There is an obelisk to mark the spot.* The more accurate spot is in a remote slough somewhere out of town†.

National Parks in North Dakota:
Theodore Roosevelt National Park
See: http://www.nps.gov/thro/index.htm

Universities in North Dakota:
University of North Dakota
North Dakota State University

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* I remember that a friend commented on all the phallic monuments. She thought there should be a few yonic symbols on monuments.
http://travel.usatoday.com/destinations/2010-06-02-rugby-north-dakota-center-of-north-america_N.htm

North Dakota

Last night we went to the local pizza place. As we waiting to be seated, we noticed the guy behind us. He was quite rotund. The place was fairly full so that we were seated off toward the back corner. The rotund guy was seated at the table next to us. His date was even larger than he was.
The woman was running her mouth; the guy had no chance to speak. Their table was quite close to ours. Her voice carried really well, and we couldn’t help but hear a few things. All of a sudden she began to talk about some woman who had recently acquired her MBA. This woman was thinking of moving to North Dakota.

Eavesdropper: {What does this person know about North Dakota. I grew up there.}*
Neighbor: North Dakota has nothing going for it except for Yellowstone and Mount Rushmore.
Eavesdropper: {I wonder if Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, and South Dakota know about this?}
Neighbor: North Dakota has no colleges or universities.
Eavesdropper: {Is she speaking of Antarctica?}

Neighbor: Why didn’t you ever take me on vacation?
Eavesdropper: {I wonder if she even knows where the Grand Canyon is.}

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* {} is used in this piece to encompass unspoken thoughts

NFL Opening Game

Last evening we watched the Thursday night NFL opener. Tradition demanded that we should  order a pizza. I called the Screaming Banshee to place our order for a large pizza. The person taking the order didn’t ask me for my name.

When I got there to pick up the pizza, the waitress said, “Roger, your pizza isn’t quite ready yet.” I said “Okay”, but how did she know it was me? She said, “I recognized your voice.”  Wow, and I didn’t know her name; I don’t remember that she was ever our waitress.

Then as I picked up my pizza and walked out the door. Then as if on cue a car pulled up. Edward said “Wanna ride?”
“Sure”.

The joys of a small town.

Cabbie

Gabby Giffords was in Bisbee on Labor Day. She remains a hero, together with many who behaved heroically the day of the shootings in a Safeway parking lot.

Cab driver Joe Acosta’s first fare that day was Jared Loughner. According to Mr. Acosta he behaved quite normally. However, Loughner had to go into the Safeway to get change for a $20. Of course the driver had to go with him, in order not to lose his fare.

I imagine the cabbie’s state of mind. How his perspective would change from dealing with a cheapskate fare, to realizing that this is one fare he will never forget. Did he know that Loughner had a gun? How often does he transport gun-toting fares?