Ronald for President

I was walking toward home, when I encountered Ronald. Ronald is the local candidate running for president as the Constitutional Party candidate.

He asked if I was walking toward a coffee shop. I said that I was. I asked if I could buy him a cup of coffee. He said yes.

Naturally I assumed that he was referring to the coffee shop across the street, the Bisbee Coffee Company (BCC). I made a turn toward the BCC, but he stopped me. “No, I am 86ed from that coffee shop.” I was shocked, the only persons that I knew to be 86ed from the BCC, had walked around the coffee shop insulting people.

I asked him what he had done. He said that he had gotten a little too exuberant with his worship.

A candidate should probably not get 86ed from the common place to kick-off a candidacy.


[It was a Saturday, and I had just moved to Wibaux, MT. Wibaux is near the border of Montana and North Dakota.]

I had an apartment in downtown Wibaux. It was a nice place, but noisy. The train went through downtown, but the biggest problem was the bar noise.

The Shamrock Bar was the noisiest bar in town and it was directly across the street from my place. I wasn’t prepared for the first Saturday night. The bar noise was so loud that I couldn’t sleep.

I heard an argument between two former friends. One of them said, “Hey, don’t cut me, man. I’ve loved you like a brother.”

When the bar closed at 2, I thought that Sunday night would be better. Nope – it was worse! North Dakota had laws preventing the sale of alcohol on Sundays. The drunks from North Dakota came to Wibaux to drink on Sunday evening.

Duped by NASA

NASA is an organization that is leading us down the wrong path. There are numerous books that will explain the fallacy of the solar system. This is one of the many strange things that I learned today from a couple of coffee shop philosophers Sammy and Mark. They were trying to match each other, conspiracy for conspiracy.

For example, yesterday Mark informed me that there is an asteroid that is big enough that unless it is broken up, the earth will experience severe damage. [Maybe we don’t have to be concerned about climate change.] I am fairly selective about the conspiracies I believe in. For example, I double-checked, which has been reliable on issues in the past.

The site states that “None of the known PHAs* is on a collision course with our planet.” I pointed this out to Mark. His response was that they just want to hide the truth from us.

* Potentially Hazardous Asteroids

Gay Pride

I was walking home the Friday of Gay Pride week end. Monica was with some of her friends. Her pastor had given her some flyers for her to give out to people at Bisbee Pride. She and her friends were joking about the flyers.

They were all wearing rainbow colors, except for her. She was dressed in blue jeans and a non-descript t-shirt. I only got a glimpse of the flyers, which said something like “Gays Repent”.

Suddenly I heard an “Oh Shit” from Monica, the blue-jeaned girl. She tried to hide her flyers.

Another cluster of girls was pouring out of the Circle K. The two groups hugged each other.

Except for Monica. She ran away at a 45 degree angle with her flyers.

She threw the flyers away when she was off in the shadows.

Bridgeport Inn

One night we stayed at the Bridgeport Inn in the Eastern Sierra. The inn was set up with the bar, the restaurant, and the lobby downstairs, and the sleeping rooms upstairs.

Steve was sitting in the lobby reading the Bible. Karen, who was wearing a short, stylish skirt, walked into the lobby, saw him reading the Bible. 

She asked him about what he was reading. Steve said that he was reading Matthew, and gave an exegesis of the scripture that he was reading.

Karen’s husband, Mike, came into the lobby, and listened for a time. Then he got bored and went into the bar. 

I too got tired of the Biblical discussion, and left to take a walk. Three hours later I returned, and sat in the lobby again. Steve and Karen were still discussing Matthew.

Mike came back from the bar. Karen asked Mike if he was ready to go upstairs. He said “Yes”. Karen adjusted her dress, said, “Good Night, Steve”, and she and Mike left. Apparently, Steve was done reading too, since he also went upstairs.

I went up to my room as well.

Modern Death

I met Modern Death on Halloween. He had a mask that covers his face entirely. He showed me who was under the mask. Then I saw that he had a plastic gun strapped around his chest.

It is a costume that could be making a statement about news reports that have been highlighted on the nightly news, or it could just be a comment on modern society. Modern Death is lucky that Bisbee isn’t a tinder box.

It is a good costume, but I personally wouldn’t dare wear it.

Unusual Reasons for not being able to Drive

I was getting into my car at the post office. I had the window open. An old woman approached me.

I steeled myself for a verbal assault. Several days ago I had encountered her outside the Grand Saloon. She had asked me for some private information, information I wouldn’t give her.

This time the words that she spoke to me again were a none-of-your business type of comment. “I didn’t think that you could still drive.” The fact that I can still drive is a surprise to other people, so I didn’t take too much umbrage to her comment.

I could have ignored her and closed the window. Instead I asked her, “Why not?” Wrong question! Rather then comment on my driving, she said, “Because you stink, like shit.”

Escape the Coming Wrath

I recently met a guy who had greeted me and my nephews on Main Street a long time ago. He was really weird.

Now, a couple of years later, I encountered him again. He was an even weirder character than the snapshot that we experienced the first time we met him. He told me his name but given the ensuing conversation, I think of him only as The Madman. He tries to show off his knowledge of my past as if he were Rasputin. However he is never right, usually way off.

He has about 10 teeth left, a scraggly beard, and longish scraggly hair. He acts as if he is delivering a message for only me.

He said, “You see things that others don’t see.” Duh.

“You have been here 30 years. You have another place up the coast that you can go to. Go now. Escape the coming wrath. Jessica prays for you every day.”

Either he thinks that I am someone else, or he is a terrible psychic.

Thank you for your service to our country.

The other morning I had been sitting at the coffee shop drinking coffee. I left to go home. As I left, I stopped to greet Michael, a troubled soul. Earlier he had been speaking of being treated for PTSD at the VA.

Michael was talking with the local Green Party candidate for mayor. The Green Party candidate had been walking his dog along the sidewalk. The Green Party candidate was touting the Green Party agenda. The Green Party candidate asked Michael which branch of the military he had been in.

Michael replied “The Marines. I’m a trained killer.”

The Green Party candidate said “Thank you for your service to our country.” and he continued walking his dog down the sidewalk.