5 Fingered Discount

Quinn has an old car that he uses to get to work. Tom had taken the bus  to Safeway, and was buying his groceries. Quinn stopped at the Safeway on his way home from work. Quinn ran into Tom at the Safeway, and offered him a ride. Tom said “Sure”. Then he wouldn’t have to wait for the bus to get a ride home.

Tom waited for Quinn to get his groceries, and climbed into Quinn’s car. As they went toward home, Quinn said, “Hey, I hope you don’t mind, but I need to make a stop at the thrift store.” What could Tom say? Actually, he needed to get a winter jacket himself.

They each made their purchases, and returned to the car. As they drove away, Quinn said, “See what I picked up.” Besides the purchases that Quinn had made, he had stolen an almost new pair of gloves.

At this point Tom wished that he hadn’t accepted the ride. Quinn said, “Don’t worry about it. I always get a little extra when I buy anything there.”

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Mighty Quinn

There is a spot just before the No Hitchhiking sign where people can catch a ride without being hassled by the cops.

I stopped in this spot to pick up Quinn. I was going to Safeway, Quinn was going to pick up a package at his grandmother’s place a quarter mile from Safeway. I agreed to drop him off at his grandmother’s. If he was back before I left Safeway I would give him a ride back into town.

Just as I finished getting my groceries, here comes Quinn, right on time. Quinn said it was no problem; he ran track in high school.

On the drive back into town, Quinn said that he had reformed his ways. I dropped him off in downtown Bisbee.

“When Quinn the Eskimo gets here, everybody’s gonna jump for joy.”*

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* from Bob Dylan’s Quinn the Eskimo

(No) Vacancy

A long time ago, I hitchhiked from Grand Forks, ND, to Nashwauk, MN to get my car. (don’t ask why?)

I was lucky that day. Highway 2 was a busy trucking road; it went to Duluth, MN, the furthest inland seaport.

I got a ride with an eighteen wheeler. The tractor cab had a central intrusion to make more room for the engine. On the table-like structure there was a honking big crescent wrench. The driver and passenger were a pair who drove together.

As soon as we were out of town, the woman lit up a joint. They took turns enjoying the weed. When they got to the end of the joint, of course, they needed a roach clip. Given the lack of a roach clip, they used the crescent wench. 

After several hours it was soon time to find a motel for the night. My luck continued. There, in the forest of northern Minnesota, was a motel with a neon “Vacancy” sign. I got the trucker to slow done and let me out.

Of course, it takes a while to stop an eighteen wheeler. We had gone past the motel by then. I thanked them, and started back toward the motel. Darn, could you believe it, the “No Vacancy” sign was displayed. 

I went back to the motel, and went to look at the “Vacancy” sign. Actually was a “No Vacancy” with the neon sign broken between the “o” and the “V”.

I knocked on the door. There as no answer. I then pounded on the door, and yelled at them to open up. No luck.

My luck lasted. I stuck out my thumb, and caught a ride direct to Nashwauk.